FIRE!!!!!

It's the fire pit war and we are ready for battle.

Last spring we cleared a small section of our yard and designated it our fire pit. It is still a work in progress so right now, it consists of dirt, a bench and half a 55 gallon drum on large bricks. We have big plans for the fire pit but the one we are striving for is going to cost us some money so we are taking it step by step.

A few days ago, on the first nice night we've had in a while, we opened for fire business. One of our neighbors is not so happy. Within minutes of arriving home and seeing our fire, she called the fire department. Had she not tried to be anonymous, she might have gotten away with it. She reported it as an uncontrolled fire in the vicinity of her street and mine and gave her own address. When the fire department couldn't find it (because it was so uncontrollable?) they knocked on her door. She then proceeded to come outside and point us out. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
So, we had to put it out. No problem. The good news is that the firemen gave us all sorts of tips on how to get away with it next time. We were told that if we had food outside or if there was a grate over the fire, they would not have been able to shut us down.

So the war begins....

Last night, in the rain, we started a fire. We had a grate and some marshmallows (which we were told by the FD, were considered food). I had already spoken to the fire marshal earlier and found that what we did was fine and we were instructed to have fun. Furthermore, our fireman friend informed us that because they had been out here already and knew the situation, chances are, she will be told that we are in compliance and too bad. We had all of this in our pocket and waited for the the neighbor to come home and the FD to show up. When she did arrive, she spent a while peaking through the blinds at us. I guess she figured she lost because no one showed up.

Here's some things I don't understand.
1) We had fires all the time last year and no one said a word. In fact, several of them were a bit loud and still no law enforcement was involved. Maybe she was trying to nip that in the bud? Well, surprise dear neighbor, there may be an open burning ordinance in our town but there's no noise ordinance. You're call to the Popo will only make us louder and we may just start up a tractor pull for shits and giggles.

2) If we really aren't bothering you, why is the call to the FD necessary? I can say with all certainty that we were not bothering her. We were visiting with our other neighbor, not being loud and since the FD showed up around 730ish, it's safe to say we weren't disturbing her beauty sleep. There was no alcohol involved so I am aware of the noise level. The wind was blowing behind us so the smoke was not bothering her. What is it about us that that she dislikes so much?

3) We are quiet neighbors. We don't get into any one else's business. We do not infringe upon her. When she and her gay friends get a little too tipsy and loud at 3am while they sit on her back porch, we don't say a word. (Her porch is almost directly under my bedroom window so we really hear everything) and yet she insists on ruining our fun that we are having at a decent hour.

Well, Ms. neighbor, you have made strong enemies. Enemies that have friends who loves them some fires, one of which happens to be a Kensington fireman. We don't feel powerful but since you irritated the FD by even making that stupid call, we do have the power now. And just so you know, shortly before the FD showed up, my husband and I were watching how much water was coming out of your basement and where it was dumping. My husband was going to offer to help you with that issue but now your house can collapse and float away for all we care. We are here for the long run and if you don't like it, I suggest you put your house on the market and find a new home. I hear the new condos down near Paper Goods Pond are fabulous!

Good Morning Sunshine!!

Nick, get up bud, you need to eat breakfast and get dressed. Maggie, time to get up girlie...

Nick, did you eat breakfast yet? Ok then, do your homework. No, you can't play Xbox until your homework is done.

C'mon Mags, get up. Hey, turn that light back on. Fine, Mommy will carry you. While Mommy does her hair, please get dressed. Maggie, I said get dressed! Why are your jammies still on? Well, if you don't like that outfit, go pick out another one. Then you're just gonna have to wear this one. NICK! ARE YOU DRESSED YET? I didn't mean to pull your hair but you have to stop moving. Maggie, I can't brush your hair if you keep moving. If you move one more time, I'm going to beat you with this brush. See, look how pretty. Watch Dora for a few mintues until I call you down.

Nick, is your homework done? Well, get off the computer and do it. Yes, you can have turkey for lunch. I don't have any rolls left and Dad ate the last wrap. Well, I'm sorry. What would you like me to do about this right now? I already cleaned the Xbox game but you can't use it until after school.

Maggie, get your shoes on. Well, then find them. They aren't in the closet. Because I already checked there. Look in the basement. Maggie! Hurry up! Can we please do this on Mommy time and not Maggie time? Get your back pack. Is your traveling book in there? Where are your shoes? Come here, I'll tie them for you. Get your coat on, let's go. Just wear the Cabela's coat please. I don't know where the brown one is. It's not raining out, put the umbrella back in the closet. Maggie, get your coat on before Mommy has a heart attack!!! Are we ready now? Ok, let's go. Be right back Nick!

Ok, Baby, I love you. Go to the window and I'll wave. Ok, one more kiss. More hugs? Ok. Love you baby girl. Be good for Ms. Lisa today.

Nick? I'm back. Where are you? Is your homework done? What are you doing at the computer again? If your homework isn't done, stop looking at pictures and do your homework. Why aren't you dressed yet? Go get your own clothes. For the love of God, you're 10 now. Nick, is your homework done? Then why isn't all your stuff in your backpack? Please put it away now. Put your lunch in there too. I packed you turkey like you asked. I already told you the rolls were gone. Fruit punch. But you said you hated the kiwi strawberry juice. Fine, I'll switch it. Put your shoes on. No, not the muddy ones, the clean ones. Well, why did you wear them to play? Here, give them to me, I'll clean them. What time is it? Ok, we've got a little time. Yes, you can play one song on Rockband. I don't know when baseball is going to start. The coach hasn't told us yet. I don't know what other kids are on your team yet. Are you done with that song yet? Please put the drums away. Because they shouldn't be in the middle of the room when you aren't playing. Keep it up and you won't play at all later. C'mon, get your shoes on, the bus is going to be here in 5 minutes. I can't drive you to school Buddy or I'll be late for work. Thursday's are different. I've already arranged for that. Bus turned, let's go. Bud, I love you but I really can't stand WWE. Did you grab your lunch? Oh yeah, I  put it in there, didn't I? Don't lose those action figures at school please. Here's the bus. Love you Buddy, have a good day. I'll see you after school...LEARN SOMETHING!!!

Do I Want To Remember?

How can people from the same time and place have such diffrent memories of it? Our memories are tricky things. I can understand how little details can be remembered differently but what I've come across latley is so odd.

Recently, I was made a member of a Facebook group from an old workplace. I do not have good  memories of this company. I made a few really good friends there and I am forever gratefull for that but the rest of it was horrible. As I read through some of the posts, I couldn't believe how many people had amazing memories from when they worked there. Some of them even said how much they missed the company. I kept thinking, are we talking about the same place? 

It occured to me that maybe I was living in a parallel universe. Maybe it was just me who hated working there but as my thoughts wandered, I remembered the few friends I had there were miserable as well. More thinking and I realized that we were all in the same department. The happy people had been in a completley different department. Ok, it's settled. It was just the accounting department. But it wasn't. I knew someone who transferred from accounting to sales and still wasn't  happy with this company. Furthermore, my aunt was in sales and she wasnt' all that happy either. She also seems to now be living in the happy memory land and forgetting that she was fired for her performance. She had some health issues and was in and out of work for about a year. How the heck was she supposed to perform if she wasn't there? She worked there for about 15 years and that's how they treated her.
I narrowed it down. There seems to have been some glory days somewhere from the late 80's to the early 90's. From there, things spiroled downhill. I worked there from 1992 to 1997. I got the tail end of the happy times. Most of the happy stories peoople told were from those early years. They may have still worked there when I was there but it wasn't the same.
I have to be fair here and mention that I, too, was fired for performance issues. I was a bad employee. I was late all the time, I didn't care about my work, I called in sick quite a bit. I was always on probation for one thing or another. I deserved it. I asked for everything I got. I blamed the company for my unhappiness for a while but the truth was, I was just miserable in general. The crappy job didn't help but it wasn't the reason. When I wasn't happy after leaving, I had to sit back and take a hard look at myself. In a way, they did me a favor by firing me. I had to take responsibility for myself and I did. The thing is, a year later, I found out that my ex-supervisors wanted me to fail. We totally didn't like each other but I don't think they wanted to fire me. I didn't give them any choice. If I got a new job and failed there too, maybe they wouldn't feel so guilty about firing me. But I didn't fail. I found a great new job at a company I loved. (Now, if they had a Facebook group, I would be living in happy memory land with them!) It wasn't the job that made me happy. I was happy when I started the job. There's a huge difference there. It was an awsome company with some of the best co-workers ever. That wasn't it though, I was different.
 I sat on it for a few days. Should I stay on the company group? None of those people were horrible. In fact, the few I remember were very nice. In the end, I decided to defect. I realized that none of those people were anybody that I have missed in the last 14 years. The ones I did miss I have re-connected with already or I have stayed in contact all along. Seeing posts from certain people brought me right back to that young girl I was. I felt angry, sad, confused, inadequate and small. I still occasionally have those feelings but not all at the same time and certainly not as strong as I felt them back then. I don't want to feel that way again. I am not that girl they remember and as much as I would like them to see me now, the truth is, I don't care enough about those people to make the effort.

So for now, I respectfully decline Seton. I do hope that everyone is doing well but I choose not to go back.

Beer

This Saturday, Steve and I are going to do the Brew master tour at the Budweiser factory in New Hampshire. We are going with some good friends of ours and we are really looking forward to some adult time. We love our kids but lately they have been out of control. So, what better thing to do than combine, good friends, an adult outing and beer.

I really love beer. I love everything about it. I love the hops and the barley. I love that first sip of an ice cold beer on a hot summer day. I love the sound of popping it open next to a fire. In Austria, there's a brewery where you can swim in beer. YES!!
 My favorites have a hint of citrus in them but it's not overpowering. Years ago, the microbreweries were trying to tap into the wine cooler market. They put everything from watermelon to cherry in their beers and it was awful. Imagine taking your favorite beer and then your favorite juice and mixing them together. Ew.  I'm sure there were some fans out there but obviously not enough because you don't see it much anymore. Take heed Brewers! A hint of flavor is good, cherry flavored beer is not.

When I was a young drinker, all I drank was Budweiser. I used to be able to recite the saying on the side of the can. (This is the famous Budweiser beer. We know of no other...You get it) My father raised me that we were Republicans, we drove Chevys and we drank Budweiser. Stray from that and there will be consequences. Not his, just consequences. I bought a Ford once and it was nothing but trouble. I got the "I told you so" look and traded it in for a Chevy. When I branched out to (GASP!) Rolling Rock, he took a deep breath and prayed for my survival. The Lord smiled on me and let me live to drink another beer.

From Rolling Rock, I have matured where my husband has gone backwards. I prefer a beer that tastes good to a beer that's cheap. My husband swears PBR tastes the same but I catch him stealing my Blue Moon's when we have them in the fridge. That's not say that I'm not still a Bud girl. No one does it like Bud Light Lime. Bud still makes a great beer but sometimes, you need a change.

And sometimes, you need to fall back on an old favorite. So, on Saturday, I will go back to my roots. I will toast my dad who taught me the goodness of beer and I will be thankful to be able to share that experience with some good friends.

"And on the 8th day, God made beer....and it was good"

How To Spend Your Sunday

Yesterday was Sunday. My husband and 10 year old son were bored. They wanted to do something. It was a beautiful sunny day, there's still snow on the field at my in-law's house. There were so many things they could have done with thier day. They could have spent the day riding the 4-wheelers and snowmobiles. They could have gone to the outdoor show at the Big E. They could have spent the day ice fishing in Vermont. It's only an hour and a half away and there's still 4 feet of ice. That's not what they did though.

No, my husband spent quite of bit of time searching the internet for directions on how to build a potato gun. And not just any potato gun will do. This one resembled a missle launcher. I only looked for a minute because when I saw that they needed a lighter, something in an aerosol can and the warning "DO NOT TRY THIS", I walked away. The boys will play and I can't stop it. Even if I say no, they will sneak off and do it. I've learned to pick my battles.

I kissed them both good-bye and prepared myself to spend the day at the ER.

An hour later, I get a  text. It's a picture. It was a typical hunting picture. Hunter kneeling next to the kill, holding it's head up towards the camera,  hunter's kid on the other side, smiling proudly at his dad. The kid is my son, the hunter is my husband and the kill is a coyote.

Home Depot didn't have all the parts for the potato launcher so they went coyote hunting instead.

I better get a friggin' coyote throw rug out of this.

Friday Rant

    I don’t feel good today and I’m easily irritated so I’m going to rant a little. I’m not usually so negative but today I’m letting my freak flag fly.

     I really hate my co-worker. Her Indian name would be Crazy Lady Who Needs Prozac but I’ll call her Ann. And she is part Native American so it’s not totally out there.

     On any given day, I get yelled at or berated for all kinds of things. Whatever is on her mind gets spewed out like vomit. It’s like watching The Exorcist. (She actually kind of looks like the possessed version of Linda Blair) This has been going on for about 3 years now. I am not going to pretend that I’m perfect and everyone else is just mean. I am not always the easiest person to get along with. I know that but she wins first prize for Condescending Bitch. She has come at me with everything she can think of but she doesn’t understand why I always come out smelling like a rose. Could it be that your incessant whining and bitching makes you sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown?

     One thing she enjoys is prodding me for days until I finally snap and then cries to my boss that I’m so mean to her. Poor me, everyone has taken advantage of me my whole life….Boo Hoo, cry me a river, lady. You brought this wrath on yourself.

     She’s not always evil. Sometimes she’s quite nice and the few times I’ve had my kids here, she’s very good with them. She can tell a funny story like nobody’s business but 30 seconds later, she will yell at me for opening the mail. How dare I do my job?

     She spends a lot of time looking for my mistakes and when she finds them, she goes running to my boss. There are three problems with this. 1) She isn’t getting her own work done because she’s so busy trying to take me down, 2) She makes mistakes too, mostly because she’s trying to take me down, 3) Usually, when she finds a mistake, it’s not really a mistake on my part but on hers. Case in point, yesterday she came in and told me that my boss would be talking to me about an order I took. She said the pricing was wrong. I triple checked it so I knew it wasn’t wrong. When Boss Man got in, he and I went over it and found that I, in fact, was correct. Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!

     She likes to complain to anybody who will listen, customers included that I don’t do anything at work, that I am a kiss ass to my boss and I only work when he’s here. I am his assistant. Of course, I have more work when he is in the office since my job is to ASSIST him. She also gets viably upset when I do personal things for Boss and his wife. She apparently does not understand that he is my boss. If he tells me to shampoo the rugs in his wife’s car, than that is what I do. She tries so hard to tell me how to do my job but she doesn’t understand that until the day that her signature is on the bottom of my paycheck, she doesn’t get to tell me what to do.

     When she’s not trying to facilitate her evil plan to get rid of me, she is treating customers like dirt and then complaining that we need to pull in more work. Well, if you were nicer…I actually have several customers that will no longer deal with her. They ask for me specifically and if I’m not in for some reason, they will wait for me to return.   

. Here’s my inner bitch coming…Are you ready?

Poor Ann, do remember the convenience store my boss found you in? Straighten up or you will find yourself right back there again. I know why you lost that job at ABC Machine shop and it wasn’t lack of work like they told you. Bad attitudes are ok for 7-11 because people expect you to be rude but they don’t fly in the real world. You haven’t even finished high school and you are lucky to be making the money you are making now. I have an education past high school. That’s why I work 20 less hours than you a week and make almost as much as you do. I’m sorry your husband left you for another woman and that your current boyfriend is a selfish prick but you get what you settle for. I know when you look at your boyfriend you see dollar signs. You’ve never had expendable cash before and you really just want to be a housewife but the world is cruel and you have to stop playing the victim card. Nobody is a victim. You make your choices and you live with them. Sadly, you’ve pinned your hopes on a man that will never marry you. You cook, clean and do everything a wife would do now. Old cliché – Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? Boss Man is not rude to you because he dislikes you. Boss man is rude to you because that is how you treat him. A person will only be polite for so long. Your constant complaints and nastiness have worn him down. He isn’t even being rude, he’s just done with you. If he had the capacity to train someone, he probably would have let you go a long time ago. Yes, you still have a job because training someone new is a hassle he can’t handle right now, not because you’re any good at it. The honest truth? You’re a washed up, miserable biker chick. I’m sure riding your Harley across country when you were younger was great but you are paying for your lack of direction now, aren’t you?

Ok, that was my Friday Rant. It felt good. Maybe I'll make it a regular thing.

A Day In The Life...

***Author's Note ***

Last week I wrote down all the questions that run through my head during the course of one day. I’m amazed that I get anything done.

Why do people spend incredible amounts of money on extravagant

Hotels? How much time do they really spend in those rooms? Buy a

Camper, it’s got everything you could possibly need and you get to have

all your own stuff. And a fire pit.

Why do people go out to eat at fancy restaurants? Don't get me wrong, I

like the occasional meal at a decent place but I don't plan my life

around when I can get a reservation.

Why are people so focused on the weather? We live in New England. 'Nuff

said.

What is it that makes some people less happy than others? I'm not

talking about the occasional bad mood. I'm talking about the perpetually

unhappy. If you have more than what you need, you're doing good. Even

if you have only what you need, things can't be that bad.

Why do people run red lights in front of cops? And why am I the only

one who gets pulled over for that reason? (FYI, I actually went thru

a yellow light. The cop only saw the red light)

Why do people who sit in judgment never get judged? And who gave

them the power to judge?

Why do horses bite? (Yes, they do) And why won't Clydesdales step on a

small child?

Why does my sister love to argue and why hasn't anyone told her to be a

lawyer yet?

Why do my kids only want to talk to me when I'm on the phone?

Why does my husband insist on dropping all his stuff on the counter

when I've given him 2 drawers and a basket to put it all in?

Why isn't there an age requirement when buying snowmobiles bigger than?

a 500cc? There are some boys out there who should NOT be allowed to

even sit on 900cc sled.

What happens if that lost cow we saw on Saturday can't find her way

home? She was kind of smelly. I wouldn't want to take her home.

Why hasn't the lady at work seen a shrink yet when it's so obvious she

needs to be medicated?

Why do people say "Oh, he/she changed"? No, they didn't. People don't

change, your opinion of them did.

Why won't my son put his clothes in the hamper? He throws them on the

floor next to it, but not IN it.

If it's beyond your control, why are you freaking out about it?

Why are some people so consumed with appearances and what other people

think? I am who I am and if someone doesn't like it, don't talk to me.

Problem solved.

Why is it that the people with the most opportunities are the most

miserable?

Why does my daughter think its fun to beat up her brother?

Why doesn't my son hit his sister back? I know we told him to never hit

girls but sometimes, she really deserves it.

How did I get such good kids? My Mother Of The Year Award went down the

toilet years ago.

Why do people still order checks through their bank? You can get the

same checks online for a quarter of the price.

Why is snow so ugly when it melts? Even the untouched snow in my yard

looks gross as it's warming up.

Why does it take Kensington Fire Rescue 8 minutes to respond to a call

a quarter mile away? Well, longer really. It took them 8 minutes to get

the fire truck out of the garage and pass my house which is closer than

where they were responding to.

Why do the tree hugging liberals want my guns? They won't shoot them

Why is ok for those same tree hugging liberals to eat ground meat from

a beef farm that treats their animals cruelly but it's not ok to shoot a

deer and eat it?

What is it about my "Don't Tread On Me" flag that upsets my neighbors?

Was this country not founded on that same principle?

Why won't my ex BFF stop asking people about me? She was the one who

didn't want to be friends anymore.

Why is my 6 year old daughter so evil sometimes?

What's with all the pinky promising lately? Even some adults are doing

it.

How are people seriously talking about Global Warming when we got 3

feet of snow in less than a month? It's a cycle people!!! The earth

does this every few thousand years.

Why do I get those nasty looks because I drive a full size SUV?

I can honestly say that my family needs that big vehicle. We go

camping, tractor pulling, 4 wheeling, ice fishing and snowmobiling. We

aren't going to luxury hotels and letting our kids sit inside playing

video games all day. I bet I leave less of a carbon footprint than

those people do.

Why are we letting the environmentalists run this country? They can

save all the wildlife they want but that still leaves thousands of

children starving right here in our own country. Let's kill the buffalo

and feed the kids.

If it's true that Alaska has a great supply of oil, why are we worried

about a few upset animals? There are millions of acres untouched by

humans in Alaska. The animals will find it and all will be right in the

world again.

Did I just get yelled at for opening the mail? Seriously lady, Prozac.

It works wonders.

What exactly is a carbon footprint anyway? I know the basic concept but

I wonder if this is just another thing that the tree huggers of this

world made up to freak us all out. 

Where is my pen? Yep, right where I left it.

Is it camping season yet? I wonder how my camper is doing. I miss it.

How loud does someone really need to listen to news radio? If I can hear

it in my office, over my radio, I'm guessing it's too loud or you’re too

deaf.

Who gives a crap about Justin Bieiber? He's either a girl or gay or

both. I don't get the Bieber Fever thing.

Why are Richard Petty's teeth so perfectly white? I wonder if they are

his originals. He has always had good teeth.

What happened to John Force? And why did they cancel his show?

Why do senior citizens insist on doing their errands when I'm on my

lunch break? They should only be able to do them from 9am-12pm and then

from 1pm-4pm. No offense but they have all day, I only have a half hour.

Speaking of seniors, why is it that whenever bad weather is predicted,

they go out for milk, bread and eggs? Is that all they eat? Come on,

pick up some ground beef or chicken, live dangerously.

Didn't anyone tell that guy that driving and talking on his cell phone

is illegal? Oh wait, that cop is about to. Yay Berlin PD!

For Goodness sake!! Green means GO!!!!

Why does my dad insist on snowmobiling when he can hardly walk for 3

days after? I understand his passion but I don't see anything worth

that kind of pain.

What is it about camping at the beach that my in-law's love so much?

There's no hook ups, the beach is dirty and over-crowded, and you have to

rent a fire pit, the campground is not that nice and you have to lock

everything up whenever you leave your camper. It's cheap but that's the

only good thing about it.

Why can't I eat venison? It smells really good but I just can't get it

in my mouth.

If I won't eat venison, why do I want to hunt? Oh right, I need to

shoot something.

When is that hunter safety course anyway?

I wonder who has a 30-odd 6 I can shoot. It's a big gun. Not sure I

should be trusted with it.

When did all the Chevy fans start buying Fords? Well, at least they

aren't buying Dodge.

A new snowmobiler goes into a Ski-Doo dealer and buys the fastest sled

he can get. Two weeks later, he kills somebody while riding too fast on

the trail. Who's to blame? The rider? The dealer? Both? I mean,

seriously, that's like handing a 16 year old keys to a Corvette the day

he gets his license. Go ahead, have fun, drive fast, turn left...

Who builds a luxury hotel on the Berlin Turnpike? Did they not notice

the one-hour motel and the strip club across the street? Ok, it's not 5

star but it's pretty nice for these parts.

Hey, crazy co-worker, I tried but I just can’t listen to your incessant whining anymore. Have you looked into that Prozac yet?

Why does my brain work this way? Will it ever stop?

The Bridge

I am standing on one side of a bridge. On the other side

is someone that I once put my full trust and faith into.

She used to be my best friend. Things have happened.

Situations got ugly. I know that we will never be friends

again and that is ok. I know who she truly is now and if I

had known that 3 years ago, we would never had been the

friends we became. She has opinions about me based mostly on

untruths and exaggerations that she made up in her head. My

opinions of her are based on all the back stabbing she has

done in the past year and a half.  I don't hate her. I am still angry

but mostly sad because of how things turned out. I believe

that we are both at fault for what happened. The problem is

that while I have taken responsibility for my part

of this, she will never admit she's wrong.

We are both holding detonators. It's a stand off. I can't

push the button. I don't see the point of destroying the

bridge. I don't want to be her friend ever again but our

lives intersect in so many ways that I just don't

understand why she would want to burn this bridge.

Friendship is out, but we need to co-exist peacefully.

She built this bridge. She built it for the sole purpose of

blowing it up. We never had a bridge before and now we do.

I shout to her. I want to stop the inevitable explosion.

When I look at her, all I see is pure hatred. I can

actually feel it radiating out of her. I don't really

understand why she hates me so. We both did things that got

us to this place. I place no blame on either of us and yet,

we are both to blame.

She looks at me and smiles. I think that maybe she has had a

change of heart. Maybe she sees what I do, that once the

bridge is burned, it can't ever be rebuilt. Why can't we

leave the bridge as is and promise to stay on our sides?

What if we need this bridge someday? I can't see the

friendship ever rekindling but you just never know what

might throw us back together again. Not in friendship but

as I said before, our lives have intertwining parts.

And then I see her reach for the button.

BOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!

As the smoke clears, she is still standing across from me,

smiling. She thinks she won the battle.

I walk away. I am crying, not because I lost the battle but

because I lost a friend.

Channeling Rosanne

I took a quiz on Facebook a while back pertaining to which TV husband
would be best for me. Dan Connor was my ideal mate. I wasn't
surprised by that because my husband is a lot like Dan and I like to
think that I'm a lot like Rosanne. I only have two kids and while the boy isn't really anything like DJ, my daughter is the perfect combination of Becky and Darlene. She plays baseball wearing a tutu and a tiara.

I love Rosanne Barr (or whatever her last name is now). I don't
always agree with her opinions but I like that she has the guts to
express them. Damn the haters! I like that she spent 9 years making America look in the mirror. I watched her show throughout it's run
and I still watch reruns whenever I can. I like the way she mothers
her kids. It's not politically correct and the kids didn't always do
what Roseanne wanted them to do but no matter what, she loved those kids and they knew it. That's the kind of mom I want to be, the kind of mom I strive to be everyday.

While watching her on Oprah yesterday, I realized that Rosanne playing Rosanne Connor was not an act. The woman she played on TV is a lot like who she is in real life. I don't think we'd ever see Rosanne and Dan running a macadamia nut farm or raising goats but she is the person we watched all those years. She's funny, loving, nurturing, and calm in the face of adversity. She does yell and scream but it's all done with love and some humor. She encourages her children (and now grandchildren) to be who they are, no compromises. She admits when she's wrong and tries to make it right but does not back down from what she believes in.

So from now on when I’m trying to cook dinner, do laundry, keep the house clean and the kids are driving me crazy, I'm going to grab some cookies, lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes and ask myself "What would Rosanne do?"

Do I Want To Die For This Hill?

My boss has a quote up on his wall. It says "Is this the hill I want
to die for?"
I never really understood it. At first I thought it had something to
do with a lawsuit he was involved in about some land he owns. After a
conversation with my aunt Betsy last night, it finally made sense.
My family is dysfunctional and that's putting it nicely. It's not
always a bad thing to be dysfunctional but in our candy bar of a
family, we have more nuts than most.
We, as a whole, tend to react with our emotions and worry about the
clean up later. Most times, we yell, scream, throw fits that would make
a toddler proud and 10 minutes later we are laughing about it. I don't
know if it's our Irish heritage or just who we are and it's all of us.
Family gatherings can go amazingly well or down the toilet in a New
York minute. (See the hill? Keep looking...)
My mother has 4 sisters. They run the gamot on personalities. Remember
Jenny in Forrest Gump? Yes, I have an aunt for every stage she went
through. We have the straight laced one, the hippie, the flower child,
the disco queen and the free spirited mom.
They are all strong, independant women who have taught me many lessons.
The best part about them was thier youth. My mother married young and
had me at 20. I grew up with my 2 youngest aunts almost like sisters.
In fact, my youngest aunt is just a mere 7 years older than I. I loved
having her during my crazy teenage years. She was young enough to
remember but old enough to know better. She was my Maid of Honor and I
consider her one of my best friends. I mean, we graduated from the same
high school in the same decade. (My dean actually told me that he was
watching me because he was her dean as well. She apparently was a bit
of a troublemaker). The second youngest aunt pretty much raised me and
I really believe I turned out as well as I did because of her
influence. I have always considered myself very lucky to have these
women in my life.
Because of these strong personalities there are, of course, conflicting
opinions. That's where the hill/dying thing comes in.
As I get older, I'm seen as less of a child so I'm therefore privy to
more "adult" things going on with the family. I've had some issues with
a family member for quite some time now. In the beginning there were
tons of yelling, insult hurling, crying and nastiness. In time, I came
to realize that I couldn't change that person's opinion of the
situation and while I didn't expect the family member to embrace my
opinions, I wasn't prepared for the reality that came my way. This
particular family member needs to be right. ALL THE TIME. This person
will keep an argument going until their opponent surrenders. It's sort
of like a lion running down a gazelle. Most of the time, the opponent
gets tired of the fight and just gives in. If the opponent refuses to
give in, that person is labled stubborn and heartless. All this just
because someone has the nerve to have thier own mind.
Do you see it now? That big hill? Yep, there I am! And for a long time,
I struggled to win that hill. Then one day, I sat down and looked
around. This side isn't so bad. Nice view, pretty flowers. Why did I
want the whole hill? That's alot of upkeep and besides, what do I need
a whole hill for anyway? 
Did I back down from my own principles? No but I made a decision not to
fight. Sometimes you just have to ask yourself - Is this really worth
the energy? Is this a fight worth fighting or is it someone who is
bored, just looking for drama? I thought long and hard and what it came
down to was that as much as I cared for the person, I wasn't willing be
miserable because of a silly difference of opinion.
So from now on, when a crisis occurs, I'm going to ask myself "Is this the hill I want to die for?" and see where the answer takes me.