***Author's Note ***
Last week I wrote down all the questions that run through my head during the course of one day. I’m amazed that I get anything done.
Why do people spend incredible amounts of money on extravagant
Hotels? How much time do they really spend in those rooms? Buy a
Camper, it’s got everything you could possibly need and you get to have
all your own stuff. And a fire pit.
Why do people go out to eat at fancy restaurants? Don't get me wrong, I
like the occasional meal at a decent place but I don't plan my life
around when I can get a reservation.
Why are people so focused on the weather? We live in New England . 'Nuff
said.
What is it that makes some people less happy than others? I'm not
talking about the occasional bad mood. I'm talking about the perpetually
unhappy. If you have more than what you need, you're doing good. Even
if you have only what you need, things can't be that bad.
Why do people run red lights in front of cops? And why am I the only
one who gets pulled over for that reason? (FYI, I actually went thru
a yellow light. The cop only saw the red light)
Why do people who sit in judgment never get judged? And who gave
them the power to judge?
Why do horses bite? (Yes, they do) And why won't Clydesdales step on a
small child?
Why does my sister love to argue and why hasn't anyone told her to be a
lawyer yet?
Why do my kids only want to talk to me when I'm on the phone?
Why does my husband insist on dropping all his stuff on the counter
when I've given him 2 drawers and a basket to put it all in?
Why isn't there an age requirement when buying snowmobiles bigger than?
a 500cc? There are some boys out there who should NOT be allowed to
even sit on 900cc sled.
What happens if that lost cow we saw on Saturday can't find her way
home? She was kind of smelly. I wouldn't want to take her home.
Why hasn't the lady at work seen a shrink yet when it's so obvious she
needs to be medicated?
Why do people say "Oh, he/she changed"? No, they didn't. People don't
change, your opinion of them did.
Why won't my son put his clothes in the hamper? He throws them on the
floor next to it, but not IN it.
If it's beyond your control, why are you freaking out about it?
Why are some people so consumed with appearances and what other people
think? I am who I am and if someone doesn't like it, don't talk to me.
Problem solved.
Why is it that the people with the most opportunities are the most
miserable?
Why does my daughter think its fun to beat up her brother?
Why doesn't my son hit his sister back? I know we told him to never hit
girls but sometimes, she really deserves it.
How did I get such good kids? My Mother Of The Year Award went down the
toilet years ago.
Why do people still order checks through their bank? You can get the
same checks online for a quarter of the price.
Why is snow so ugly when it melts? Even the untouched snow in my yard
looks gross as it's warming up.
Why does it take Kensington Fire Rescue 8 minutes to respond to a call
a quarter mile away? Well, longer really. It took them 8 minutes to get
the fire truck out of the garage and pass my house which is closer than
where they were responding to.
Why do the tree hugging liberals want my guns? They won't shoot them
Why is ok for those same tree hugging liberals to eat ground meat from
a beef farm that treats their animals cruelly but it's not ok to shoot a
deer and eat it?
What is it about my "Don't Tread On Me" flag that upsets my neighbors?
Was this country not founded on that same principle?
Why won't my ex BFF stop asking people about me? She was the one who
didn't want to be friends anymore.
Why is my 6 year old daughter so evil sometimes?
What's with all the pinky promising lately? Even some adults are doing
it.
How are people seriously talking about Global Warming when we got 3
feet of snow in less than a month? It's a cycle people!!! The earth
does this every few thousand years.
Why do I get those nasty looks because I drive a full size SUV?
I can honestly say that my family needs that big vehicle. We go
camping, tractor pulling, 4 wheeling, ice fishing and snowmobiling. We
aren't going to luxury hotels and letting our kids sit inside playing
video games all day. I bet I leave less of a carbon footprint than
those people do.
Why are we letting the environmentalists run this country? They can
save all the wildlife they want but that still leaves thousands of
children starving right here in our own country. Let's kill the buffalo
and feed the kids.
If it's true that Alaska
about a few upset animals? There are millions of acres untouched by
humans in Alaska
world again.
Did I just get yelled at for opening the mail? Seriously lady, Prozac.
It works wonders.
What exactly is a carbon footprint anyway? I know the basic concept but
I wonder if this is just another thing that the tree huggers of this
world made up to freak us all out.
Where is my pen? Yep, right where I left it.
Is it camping season yet? I wonder how my camper is doing. I miss it.
How loud does someone really need to listen to news radio? If I can hear
it in my office, over my radio, I'm guessing it's too loud or you’re too
deaf.
Who gives a crap about Justin Bieiber? He's either a girl or gay or
both. I don't get the Bieber Fever thing.
Why are Richard Petty's teeth so perfectly white? I wonder if they are
his originals. He has always had good teeth.
What happened to John Force? And why did they cancel his show?
Why do senior citizens insist on doing their errands when I'm on my
lunch break? They should only be able to do them from and then
from . No offense but they have all day, I only have a half hour.
Speaking of seniors, why is it that whenever bad weather is predicted,
they go out for milk, bread and eggs? Is that all they eat? Come on,
pick up some ground beef or chicken, live dangerously.
Didn't anyone tell that guy that driving and talking on his cell phone
is illegal? Oh wait, that cop is about to. Yay Berlin
For Goodness sake!! Green means GO!!!!
Why does my dad insist on snowmobiling when he can hardly walk for 3
days after? I understand his passion but I don't see anything worth
that kind of pain.
What is it about camping at the beach that my in-law's love so much?
There's no hook ups, the beach is dirty and over-crowded, and you have to
rent a fire pit, the campground is not that nice and you have to lock
everything up whenever you leave your camper. It's cheap but that's the
only good thing about it.
Why can't I eat venison? It smells really good but I just can't get it
in my mouth.
If I won't eat venison, why do I want to hunt? Oh right, I need to
shoot something.
When is that hunter safety course anyway?
I wonder who has a 30-odd 6 I can shoot. It's a big gun. Not sure I
should be trusted with it.
When did all the Chevy fans start buying Fords? Well, at least they
aren't buying Dodge.
A new snowmobiler goes into a Ski-Doo dealer and buys the fastest sled
he can get. Two weeks later, he kills somebody while riding too fast on
the trail. Who's to blame? The rider? The dealer? Both? I mean,
seriously, that's like handing a 16 year old keys to a Corvette the day
he gets his license. Go ahead, have fun, drive fast, turn left...
Who builds a luxury hotel on the Berlin Turnpike? Did they not notice
the one-hour motel and the strip club across the street? Ok, it's not 5
star but it's pretty nice for these parts.
Hey, crazy co-worker, I tried but I just can’t listen to your incessant whining anymore. Have you looked into that Prozac yet?
Why does my brain work this way? Will it ever stop?
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