Friday Rant

    I don’t feel good today and I’m easily irritated so I’m going to rant a little. I’m not usually so negative but today I’m letting my freak flag fly.

     I really hate my co-worker. Her Indian name would be Crazy Lady Who Needs Prozac but I’ll call her Ann. And she is part Native American so it’s not totally out there.

     On any given day, I get yelled at or berated for all kinds of things. Whatever is on her mind gets spewed out like vomit. It’s like watching The Exorcist. (She actually kind of looks like the possessed version of Linda Blair) This has been going on for about 3 years now. I am not going to pretend that I’m perfect and everyone else is just mean. I am not always the easiest person to get along with. I know that but she wins first prize for Condescending Bitch. She has come at me with everything she can think of but she doesn’t understand why I always come out smelling like a rose. Could it be that your incessant whining and bitching makes you sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown?

     One thing she enjoys is prodding me for days until I finally snap and then cries to my boss that I’m so mean to her. Poor me, everyone has taken advantage of me my whole life….Boo Hoo, cry me a river, lady. You brought this wrath on yourself.

     She’s not always evil. Sometimes she’s quite nice and the few times I’ve had my kids here, she’s very good with them. She can tell a funny story like nobody’s business but 30 seconds later, she will yell at me for opening the mail. How dare I do my job?

     She spends a lot of time looking for my mistakes and when she finds them, she goes running to my boss. There are three problems with this. 1) She isn’t getting her own work done because she’s so busy trying to take me down, 2) She makes mistakes too, mostly because she’s trying to take me down, 3) Usually, when she finds a mistake, it’s not really a mistake on my part but on hers. Case in point, yesterday she came in and told me that my boss would be talking to me about an order I took. She said the pricing was wrong. I triple checked it so I knew it wasn’t wrong. When Boss Man got in, he and I went over it and found that I, in fact, was correct. Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!

     She likes to complain to anybody who will listen, customers included that I don’t do anything at work, that I am a kiss ass to my boss and I only work when he’s here. I am his assistant. Of course, I have more work when he is in the office since my job is to ASSIST him. She also gets viably upset when I do personal things for Boss and his wife. She apparently does not understand that he is my boss. If he tells me to shampoo the rugs in his wife’s car, than that is what I do. She tries so hard to tell me how to do my job but she doesn’t understand that until the day that her signature is on the bottom of my paycheck, she doesn’t get to tell me what to do.

     When she’s not trying to facilitate her evil plan to get rid of me, she is treating customers like dirt and then complaining that we need to pull in more work. Well, if you were nicer…I actually have several customers that will no longer deal with her. They ask for me specifically and if I’m not in for some reason, they will wait for me to return.   

. Here’s my inner bitch coming…Are you ready?

Poor Ann, do remember the convenience store my boss found you in? Straighten up or you will find yourself right back there again. I know why you lost that job at ABC Machine shop and it wasn’t lack of work like they told you. Bad attitudes are ok for 7-11 because people expect you to be rude but they don’t fly in the real world. You haven’t even finished high school and you are lucky to be making the money you are making now. I have an education past high school. That’s why I work 20 less hours than you a week and make almost as much as you do. I’m sorry your husband left you for another woman and that your current boyfriend is a selfish prick but you get what you settle for. I know when you look at your boyfriend you see dollar signs. You’ve never had expendable cash before and you really just want to be a housewife but the world is cruel and you have to stop playing the victim card. Nobody is a victim. You make your choices and you live with them. Sadly, you’ve pinned your hopes on a man that will never marry you. You cook, clean and do everything a wife would do now. Old cliché – Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? Boss Man is not rude to you because he dislikes you. Boss man is rude to you because that is how you treat him. A person will only be polite for so long. Your constant complaints and nastiness have worn him down. He isn’t even being rude, he’s just done with you. If he had the capacity to train someone, he probably would have let you go a long time ago. Yes, you still have a job because training someone new is a hassle he can’t handle right now, not because you’re any good at it. The honest truth? You’re a washed up, miserable biker chick. I’m sure riding your Harley across country when you were younger was great but you are paying for your lack of direction now, aren’t you?

Ok, that was my Friday Rant. It felt good. Maybe I'll make it a regular thing.